No, this blog will not be about the horse but about the beauty of black people, specifically women and how we see see ourselves and others.
Its no secret that the way we look at ourselves was conditioned from days of slavery. Field slave versus house slave evolved into the brown bag test and here we are today. Despite no longer being physical slaves, the slave mentality still exists and we constantly berate ourselves and each other.
I have had various versions of this conversation with people. Let me take it in parts.
Black Women & Hair
There is nothing more controversial than a black woman and her hair. Hair has heavy connotation with beauty in the black community, regardless of how you have it. You can't please these people at all. For most of my life I had long, thick, healthy hair. Many people were jealous of my hair because I mean seriously, how many black girls did you know growing up with long hair. Don't worry, I'll wait because I know it's not many. Either way, I was always praised for having long hair, however I found it to be dull and gradually grew scissor happy approaching adulthood. Of course cutting my hair was met with much criticism. I could give a rats ass about how people felt. No one was dealing with my hair except me, my mama, and the hair salon. You have ZERO input. So I went from long, to medium, to bob, to precision. My bob was awesome and it's my second favorite cut. After I did that I realized that I no long liked hair on my neck. Precision cuts though? That is my heart. I kept precision cuts for 4 months and then cut it all off. Talk about community hooplah. It wasn't even that I looked bad (I know I am not ugly) it was just unexpected. I was natural for 14 months. Had my fro on and rocking. I got tired of that and here I am again with a relaxer and a precision cut.
Now in that short space of about 3 years, throughout my many phases I have faced so much criticism, praise, adoration and attracted all kinds of men. Between relaxed and natural, most preferred my hair relaxed. I as well, just because I like combing my hair. Between short and long, most preferred long. No surprise, that seems to be the standard amongst black folk. Long, straight hair. Rastas, crazies, and naturalists (people just digging natural chicks) loved the fro. I loved it too, just not the work behind it. Most of my boys loved me with short cuts. Some were saddened when i got rid of the fro but eh... it's life. You cant always win.
I mean in the end, I did what I wanted because I seek to please no one else but myself. If you happen to like it too, then you lucked out. I say all of this because if you are weak minded you fall into the abyss of insecurity and will find yourself conforming to the hair trends just so that you will be deemed beautiful which can include some of the following: weaves, locks, shaved heads.. etc. Dont go natural because its in. Dont get long weaves because thats what people like. Do what works for you.
And to branch off slightly, let me say this about natural hair. I feel like A LOT of black people have it in their minds that we are "nappy headed hoes" when in actuality, all you need to know is how to treat your hair to have it work for you. Regardless of your curl pattern ( I was a 4b). Do your product research. You can have a magnificent natural coif for the thickest of hairs. There are even salons that cater to natural hair. Dont believe the hype. There is no such thing as good hair. You just gotta know how to deal with yours.
And if I haven't been clear enough, when ever you get a chance check out Chris Rock's "Good Hair"
Black is Beautiful (?)
Why do I question it? I never seen a set of people who discriminate each other so much because of skin complexion. Light skin versus dark skin. What about people who are part of neither group. Im brown skin! Tupac said "the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. I say the darker the fresh, the deeper the roots"
Yet, you have some dark skinned people wishing they were lighter, light skinned people wishing they were darker. Me personally? I like to tan. I get golden brown like a turkey. I have no preference with regards to whom I am attracted to. If you cute, you cute. I hate when people are like he/ she cute but they light/ dark skinned.. WTF THAT GOTTA DO WITH ANYTHING? There is one thing to have a preference of whom you are attracted to, but quite another to think that there is some kind of flaw with being light skinned or dark skinned.
Now the funniest thing is that white people are fascinated by black people. Our complexion. Our hair. Our culture. The various shades we come in. Varying hair textures and what we do with it. How they appreciate us but we don't appreciate ourselves?
S H A M E
Media Portrayal
Commercials/ advertisements always show the light skinned curly hair black folk. The darker tones get no love? Are the light skinned folk better than everyone else? OOO cant forget the light eyed negros either....Music videos might be the only thing that has diversity but even for a bit it was just the light skinned honeys getting love. Sorry to the dark sisters out there.
Going further back, cartoons even depicted us as being dark skinned and big lipped. Some cases it is applicable but that just goes to show you what society once thought and still does think of you. It's not flattering images most of the time and some people dont want to deal with that so they seek to change it as a means of "pleasing" society.
When media is not dealing with the aspect of physical appearance, our behavior/ mannerisms are brought to light and they don't reflect too kindly upon us. We have shows with the uppity black people who feel holier than thou. The ghetto ones. The bourgie ghetto ones. The intellectuals. All different types just to say the least. Baby mamas and baby daddys. Drug dealing up to no good men. You know it and I know it. All sorts of variety. More bad than good.
There isnt enough media out there to strengthen the way black people should feel about themselves. Even when you do have positive individuals in media it helps, but is still faced by criticism because of one thing: insecurity. For example: Beyonce. Great artist, great looking, successful, classy blah blah blah. I respect her grustle ( grind + hustle) . Dont like her one bit. People love her. She is a great role model but when you cannot deal with your own shortcomings/ insecurities, it transforms into hate. Unjust hate. And its sad that the people we should idolize, we don't because we low key envy them.
Shame....
I will always think that we, black people, are a beautiful people but after centuries of mal-conditioning from the days of slavery, media and self loathing, we wont ever truly appreciate our beauty.
Damn.
