What is Happiness to you?

I wrote this on my way from Katra on my iPod

I couldn't even answer the damn question which is wild especially considering I know things that make me happy. Or well, I think that they do. He told me to dwell on the question tonight.

He asked what am I about. There is more to me than meets the eye. I stand out in the crowd he said. An air of sophistication. The way I am dressed. The way I carry myself. Was I an English or philosophy major.

I'm destined for greatness. I'm destined to lead, not follow. I need a man who is going to let me be me. Let me be free. Someone is bringing me down and whenever the time comes, I need to be ready to go against them. Even if it is family.

I am one of the few people who can change the world. The next JFK. The next John Lennon. MLK. Kurt Cobain. I am meant to go far.  That is if I do not get sucked in and blended by society and if I heard correctly die young.

No kids right now but I will have 2. And my husband won't be black.

This is what I run into when I leave Katra.  Here I go thinking I was blending in. ...

Today's addition:

I didnt have much time to dwell on it last night.. went to the movies, came home, and went to sleep. I gotta admit. Freaked me out a bit when he stopped me. I too noticed him in the crowed. his earrings really. Nothing special. But i did notice him. Him asking me what happiness is for me really threw me for a loop because I couldnt even outright answer. I guess because I have had  better days but even so, I need to let that question stew a little bit more.

He said if I could wake up next to you the rest of my life I would...

My husband wont be black.  Ive been told this more than once. And first thing that comes to mind is Greg. I mean, its not set in stone that we will marry. Hell, we aint even engaged. It is just a nice idea/ thought that we play with. I mean he has white relative.. or is half white.. dont judge my unsureness... his background is peculiar ... but its just like damn... is this true

Now I can believe this seemingly crazy man or disregard all he said but that is kinda hard when the shyt he said made alot of sense...

i think that i will try to answer that question though

WHAT IS HAPPINESS TO YOU?